"That's not what I'm afraid of," Vanya protests, wiping at her eyes. She adds quickly, "I didn't mean-- thank you. I'm so grateful." The last thing she would want is for Obi-Wan to think that she meant to harm him. She doesn't know what would have happened if he hadn't been here. All of it is dawning on her now. She was stupid to think she could spend a couple hours in the woods and learn how to control something sitting powerfully dormant for 25 years. These powers within her are terrifying. That's what it is: even Reginald was terrified. With them she blew up her home. She murdered family. She ended the world. Twice.
When Vanya can finally look up at Obi-Wan, she lets herself see him as he's proved himself to be: patient, gentle, kind and fearless. Safe, maybe. It will take time to get to that.
"Can... uh, would you help me?" Vanya asks. She regrets it the second it is out of her mouth, the way impending rejection makes her feel like an animal skittering back into a cage for the illusion of safety. "If you- I-I don't know if that would be weird or- or if you can or... w-what I'm asking, I guess." She trails off there because she is not winning at backtracking and she's so, so tired.
"I need help. And I... don't know where to get it." The words fall out that way. She's stunned. There's more, just one more thing that she feels like she needs to say, not to convince him, but because she truly does feel she owes him an explanation. For both of them. There's one reason this is all happening, and unfortunately, it's the reason her late father did what he did at all.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2021-01-24 12:58 am (UTC)When Vanya can finally look up at Obi-Wan, she lets herself see him as he's proved himself to be: patient, gentle, kind and fearless. Safe, maybe. It will take time to get to that.
"Can... uh, would you help me?" Vanya asks. She regrets it the second it is out of her mouth, the way impending rejection makes her feel like an animal skittering back into a cage for the illusion of safety. "If you- I-I don't know if that would be weird or- or if you can or... w-what I'm asking, I guess." She trails off there because she is not winning at backtracking and she's so, so tired.
"I need help. And I... don't know where to get it." The words fall out that way. She's stunned. There's more, just one more thing that she feels like she needs to say, not to convince him, but because she truly does feel she owes him an explanation. For both of them. There's one reason this is all happening, and unfortunately, it's the reason her late father did what he did at all.
"I don't want to hurt anyone."