"Not really," Vanya says, focusing like she's trying to search her memory even though she knows the answer is no. She wouldn't have even known where to begin. Part of meditation is learning to observe thoughts and feelings without judging them. Until recently, she didn't really have feelings and all of her thoughts were pointy and full of doubt. For drugged, suppressed Vanya, meditation might have been a recipe for disaster. She was never supposed to look inward too hard.
"I know it's not about clearing your mind as much as... accepting it." That doesn't sound quite right, but since she's clearly out of her depth and she's already asked for his help, she's less interested in impressing him than she might be were this another teacher or friend or sibling's manfriend. Save for causing the actual apocalypse, Obi-Wan has seen her near her worst.
She knows that's not true. Today, Vanya wasn't angry, she was scared. Angry is what makes her powers the most dangerous. She can't imagine being angry here, but she couldn't have imagined she was a nuclear reactor either.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-02-14 07:38 pm (UTC)"I know it's not about clearing your mind as much as... accepting it." That doesn't sound quite right, but since she's clearly out of her depth and she's already asked for his help, she's less interested in impressing him than she might be were this another teacher or friend or sibling's manfriend. Save for causing the actual apocalypse, Obi-Wan has seen her near her worst.
She knows that's not true. Today, Vanya wasn't angry, she was scared. Angry is what makes her powers the most dangerous. She can't imagine being angry here, but she couldn't have imagined she was a nuclear reactor either.