[for Elio] If music be the food of love, play on

[fifthbeatle]

It's finally happened.

Vanya's been walking by this second-hand store for weeks. It's on the way to the grocery she likes. As long as she can remember, she's liked consignment and antique shops. Maybe it's the part of her that spent so much time wishing she could have what her siblings did. That wasn't just about powers or love. The rest of the Hargreeves' bedrooms were rich with things. Posters, trinkets, jewelry, gifts from adoring fans. Whereas Vanya's room was bare walls, a few pairs of shoes and one gorgeous (second-hand) violin. Even without knowing what the thing meant to her dad, it was the nicest thing she owned. It was hers. Without it, she feels like she is missing a limb.

So, she walks by this shop as often as she can, gazing in the window to admire, occasionally broaching the doorway to have a quick look around. She has seen instruments there before: pieces of a drum set (never at the same time), the occasional tambourine, a maraca or two, always set out against a backdrop of fine china that with tragically depreciated value and family heirlooms of unknown origin. Being in a place with such delicate things makes her feel deeply anxious - an energy bull in an actual china shop, but today, she doesn't even have to go inside.

There, on display in the window, is a truly gorgeous violin. It's a little beat up and the strings have seen better days, but it's hers the moment she lays eyes on it. This feeling was the closest thing she had to powerful before she knew the truth about herself. Her fingertips rub together at her side nervously, like she's judging that the callouses there have gone too soft to justify this purchase. She doesn't even know how much it is or if she has enough. As she stands there staring into the window, all she knows is that - in a life devoid if stuff - she has never wanted anything more. All she has to do is talk herself into going inside.

Comments

[speakordie]

Sometimes I have to kill time in the city between my classes and my performance time at Keynote, so I've figured out ways to do it. Sometimes I grab coffee and a book. Sometimes I grab coffee and work on classwork. Sometimes, when my brain would rather be offline, I go to the secondhand store up the street.

Today, I pick up a pair of silver cufflinks. They're simple silver rings that will look good with my black blazer, and they aren't even expensive, so I consider it a good trip. After paying, I slip the box into the pocket of my jeans, since today I'm wearing said black blazer over a pink v-neck tee, and I don't need the cufflinks.

I check my watch as I exit the shop, and roll my eyes in exasperation when I realize just how much longer I have until showtime. The club isn't even open yet. I should have just gone home. Or hung out in Oliver's office. Now I have to kill even more time.

There's a woman staring at the window display intensely enough that it catches my attention, and I have to see what has captured her attention. It's a violin, and at first glance, I don't see anything that special about it, but now with this added context, I think I recognize the hunger in her gaze.

"That's a nice one," I say casually, tilting my head to the side as I inspect it. "You play?"

[fifthbeatle]

At her sudden company, Vanya finds her lips twitching toward a smile.

"I do," Vanya says, the passion tinging her soft reply. "Or, I did. I haven't played since I got here."

In that moment, she isn't sure what's keeping her haunting Hargreeves House. Standing there staring at a violin that will be hers soon (hopefully) and being addressed so casually with such kind eyes makes her feel like she's seeing the world all wrong again, but in a better, less destructive way.

It occurs to her right then that - save for the girl at the nearby grocery who remembers her name and chats with her while she checks out - the only person she's met is Obi-Wan. What if that is holding her back? Maybe today is the day she makes a friend.

"I'm Vanya."

[speakordie]

"Ah, I know that particular itch," I tell her with an amused smile. "I sought out a piano on my first day here."

Those first few months without a piano or guitar of my own were absolute hell at times. I had never gone that long without access to one or the other, and I felt like I was slowly going insane. Oliver giving me my guitar for my birthday had felt a little like salvation.

"Elio Perlman," I reply, smiling over at her and jerking my chin toward the violin. "Are you going to get it?"

[fifthbeatle]

"Nice to meet you, Elio," Vanya says, cheerful in the reserved way that she ever feels anything. Before it was because pills kept her numb. Now, it was about not knowing how to feel and when a feeling will creep up and overwhelm her. She's doing what she can to stay in control. Standing here in front of a violin that might soon be hers and the unthreatening company of another musician, she's feeling bolder in her heart.

"Where did you find it? I wouldn't even know where to look..." As luck would have it, in her case, the instrument kind of found her. She wonders if it was the same for Elio.

"I... want to," She admits, feeling bizarre embarrassment by just how badly she does want it. "It depends on the price and if the shop owner will let me play it." Part of her doesn't want to buy it without playing it, but what if another violin doesn't come along in her price range? Which is to say basically nothing. These are just a few of the factors keeping her feeling too apprehensive to inquire further.

[speakordie]

"Well, to be fair, pianos are easier to find than violins," I tell her with a smile. "I had just shown up in Darrow and had my heart broken in the span of a few hours, so I did a lot of wandering. Found a little café with a piano, and they let me play it. Probably because I looked like a kicked puppy."

There's obvious longing on Vanya's face, one that I understand well, and it's that reason that I decide to help her as best I can. That, and I'm still bored, and a quick glance at my watch reveals that I still have some time to kill.

"I'm friends with the owner! Well, he tolerates me. Come on." I open the door to usher Vanya inside, and then step into the shop after her. "Frankie! I'm back!"

"I haven't got any new stock in the past five minutes," Frankie says as he comes out from the back, looking annoyed to have been pulled away from his takeout pasta. Again.

"My friend here would like to try out that violin," I tell him, pointing towards the window. "And you know that you're gonna have to knock at least fifteen percent off of that price. It needs new varnish." Frankie gives me a flat look and I throw my hands in the air. "It needs new varnish!"

[fifthbeatle]

Before Vanya can apologize for his broken heart or comment on the ease of finding a piano, Elio is suggesting her toward the store. She follows with a grateful smile and no hesitation. People like Elio were her saving grace in college: other musicians and musical theatre kids that could see the enthusiasm beneath her terminal shyness. To Vanya, an being outgoing is as gift and she is forever grateful to the people that want to share it.

"Thank you," she says as she ducks through the door. Her heart is pounding. This is one of those moments where she feels wrong in that she feels anything at all. When her heart kicks up, she wants to reach for the pills she doesn't carry. There is great effort in reminding herself that feelings are normal and that not all of them will spew destructive energy out the moment she feels strongly.

All of the energy is coming from Elio right now, anyway and it's far from destructive. Vanya finds she can't say much because she's ducked her head down to curb the force of a big smile that threatens to shoot out of her. Not many people have called her a friend, even if it was just to get her a discount. That he's trying at all makes her feel an immediate sense of loyalty: an equally scary thing.

Time jumps and suddenly she can't remember anything between walking through the door and when the violin landed in her hands. She takes the bow to the strings and it makes a terrible, awful, discordant sound. She winces an apology and makes quick work of tuning it. Once she's satisfied, she settles the thing into her neck. It's well-worn, reshaped from the regular set of the last owner's chin. Big, anxious eyes stare all the way up at Elio. It's like taking a plunge into water of unknown temperature.

The first stroke of the bow is like letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Two, three, four and it's like her fingers never spent a day without this. Her eyes close and the store is gone. Gentle energy ripples out of her, rusting pages of vintage comics and ancient adornments. Since Elio is a pianist, it seems her heart chose a song for both of them: Amy Beach's Violin Sonata, a piece traditionally performed by only a violin and a piano.

She plays a couple dozen more bars than she means to before she opens her eyes, glancing between the men before her gaze drops all the way down. She can tell she's displaced some of the merchandise with her powers, but there is no damage done. She hopes the store owner sees it that way. If he doesn't she will pay whatever she has to. These last few moments have made her whole again.

[speakordie]

Vanya looks so happy to be holding the instrument, and I nod encouragingly when she looks up at me. She obviously knows what she's doing, and I have no doubt that me and Frankie are about to hear something pretty decent, at the very least. Even then, she surprises me. Quite a bit, actually.

I've been in Darrow long enough that what appears to be some sort of magic doesn't really scare me. It actually feels kind of thrilling in how it infuses with the music, and I feel my hair ruffle as if it were a breezy sort of day. I look over at Frankie, who stares at Vanya with wide eyes. Her playing is fantastic, magic or not, and when it's over, I can't help but to applaud her, letting out a whistle.

A brief look around shows a few disheveled displays, but the place wasn't exactly super neat and tidy to begin with. Frankie still looks a little stunned, and I reach out to nudge him with her elbow. "Does she have a deal?"

"Uh, yeah," Frankie says, letting out an astonished sort of laugh. "She has a deal."

[fifthbeatle]

Just like that, Elio is Vanya's friend. He doesn't have to think so, and she doesn't have to tell him. He's already done more for her than most had before a couple of months ago.

As Frankie readies whatever he needs to, Vanya's eye catches the little price tag. She does some quick math. It's going to be most of what she's saved, but that's okay. Its worth to her is immeasurable.

"Thank you, Elio. That was amazing," she says, dropping her voice down and flicking her eyes over to Frankie. Vanya might die before she walked up to a shop owner and announced herself a discount. The closest she can get is sending food back when the order is wrong, and even that takes strength.

As she pays for the violin, she wants to apologize for displacing his wares, but that means risk having to talk about the powers she doesn't understand during a business transaction and that doesn't sound great, either.

Vanya pays for the corresponding case and now, she is the proud owner of a violin. It set her back another few bucks, but she's got enough to pay her new friend back for his assistance.

"Will you let me buy you lunch?" Vanya asks hopefully. "It's the least I can do."

[speakordie]

While Vanya and Frankie go over the particulars, I flit around behind them and straighten a few things that had been fluttered or tipped over by whatever it was she just did. Before I came to Darrow, such a thing might have been terrifying. Now it's just Darrow.

"You're the best, Frankie!" I call out once they're done, waving before following Vanya out onto the sidewalk. The invitation makes me smile, and I glance down at my wrist to check the time. "A little late for lunch, but I never say no to coffee."

No need for her to shell out for a whole meal, especially not after buying a whole instrument. Especially when she's still obviously new here, which gives me another idea. "You should come to my set after. I can introduce you to all my weirdo musician friends."

[fifthbeatle]

"Too late for lunch but not too late for coffee?" Vanya counters, raising her brows playfully despite her deadpan delivery. Maybe she'll never be able to express a rainbow of dynamic personality like Klaus and Allison, but she can feel it now, and that's as novel and unique as the instrument that is tucked safely away in the case she's clutching in her arms.

Another new curl of emotions unfolds in her: excitement. Elio has not only invited her somewhere, it's a place with music and he wants to introduce her to people. Other musicians. If she were Klaus, she might clap or do a little dance.

Since she's Vanya, she drops her eyes for a second as her cheeks burn. She brings much bigger, grateful eyes up to her new friend and says, "yeah, I would love that. Thank you so much."

[speakordie]

"I'm Italian. It's never too late for coffee," I assure her with a wink, leading the way towards a café I like just a few doors down from Keynote. "Plus I have to take song requests by drunk people for three hours. It's always easier when I'm properly caffeinated."

After opening the door to usher her inside, I step into line and glance at the menu, though I have it practically memorized by now. I glance down at my watch again, and then over at the case that she's clutching to her chest. "After this, we can head over to Keynote. It's early enough that we could probably get a jam session going, if you want to play together."

It isn't unusual to find a motley crew hanging around the bar before opening, all of us drinking and fiddling with our instruments. "I've got the piano, and Natalie plays the violin. She'll probably be around."

[fifthbeatle]

Vanya's heart is beating so fast. It's alarming. Is there something wrong with her? Maybe it was something about her powers. What if playing violin left her with some kind of energy residue and she was going to vibrate out of her skin?

No, she realized she's excited. It feels fantastic. If she weren't so elated, she would be furious that she didn't know what this felt like before. The pills she took made her feel like she was trying to create a facsimile of any feeling. Why hasn't she gotten out sooner?

"Really? Yeah, I would love that!" she enthuses, instantly a touch mortified by how eager she is. Luckily, she already has a reservation creeping up. "Are you sure she won't be upset? If you jam with someone else?" If only it were a joke. In her orchestra experience, musicians are a jealous sort, counting chairs and mistakes and dividing every section into mine and yours and never the twain shall meet. It would suck if her brand new range of feelings included getting punched in the face, or worse: passive-aggressively sniped at.

[speakordie]

"Why would she be upset?" I reply, truly baffled by the question. "The more, the merrier!"

The house band at Keynote has really become like family to me. When I was brought in as a featured performer, they could have banded against me, or been angry that some kid had been brought in to hog the spotlight, but they never once treated me like that, and I never treat them as just a house band. They're all talented in their own right.

"It'll be a blast," I assure her, pointing towards the club as we approach. "And I think my husband's coming tonight. I'll introduce you to him before, so you can have a seat buddy." My smile widens, and I let out a happy laugh. "Plus I just want to see you next to him. He's very tall."