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[fifthbeatle]

Once Viktor is well and truly satisfied that Luther isn't dead, he takes some time. First, it's alone with himself, examining feelings and teasing out... memories, maybe? Really, it feels like they are, but it's not possible. It can't be. Viktor's been here. Instead of landing in the righted timeline in 2019, Viktor had landed here. He never saw--

(the outline of Reginald's new children, siblings tossed around the Sparrow Academy, a blinding white discharge of power, a busted-ass hotel, his family licking their wounds, a diner downtown...)

Dissonance so extreme has a sound now, like a throbbing, blinding hangover that comes and goes. It is not entirely dissimilar, Viktor knows firsthand, from torture.

What guides Viktor back is himself. That guy in the mirror. Viktor Hargreeves, concert violinist, forgotten child, destroyer of worlds, is considering his reflection with something he's never felt: patience. Elation. Freedom. He turns the shower on to begin a day of chores and errands, smile bright as the sun.

1. Boutique Shop
The sun is shining outside, too. It's hot, but a faint breezes seems to follow Viktor where he goes. Whether it exists in the air or the sway comes from him, he couldn't say. Bony little hands stay tucked in the pockets of his jeans as he walks, passing a window with a very handsome pair of sunglasses in the window. Viktor drops the underwhelming pair he has on to give them a better look. As he examines them, he sees his faint expression in the reflection of the window and knows he's about to spend more money on a garment that he has since he ended the world.

It's not like colors are brighter -- though there is a tint to his new shades he's not used to. It's trying on clothes that fit in a way he likes. Being excited to try it on. The way he nervously pulled his ID out of his wallet to pay for his new clothes to find the ID in the window slot has changed, as well.

Viktor leaves the store in a whole new getup, shades to shoes.
And tosses the old shit into a nearby garbage bin.

2. New Leaf Used Books
Errand one, check. A pleasant task, shedding old shit to make way for new. The second is just as breezy. Viktor spends a good enough amount of his free time in bookstores. They all know him, and they all know (much to Elio's annoyance) that New Leaf is his favorite. They get strange and interesting curiosities, often of unknown origin. Viktor has found some fascinating music books, and it's reached his ear that some new ones have hit their well-loved shelves.

Viktor checks his new watch: still early enough for coffee. And if he's got the timing right, around the time Dani might be needing a pick-me-up if she's working this shift. He knows her order, and the barista knows them. Though, this time, it takes him a minute for the kid to register. Instead of writing what they always do on the cup, the kid asks for a name. Viktor smiles brilliantly.

Two cups of coffee in hand, Viktor strolls to the bookstore. If Dani's not around, someone will surely take a free coffee while Viktor gets his hands on some new sheet music.

3. Piano Bar
Someone from the orchestra invited him, and he wasn't going to go, but Viktor can't be home tonight. Whether it's the dream or Five's weird, unsteady vibes or the creeping feeling that something terrible is coming... these are the shitty feelings Viktor's been steeped in so much of his life. Scrimping for attention, a feeling, a purpose -- belonging. Darrow is a place Viktor belongs. It's where his family is, where his people are, and it's given him another gift: a shortcut to healing himself, to be who he's always been.

It's a raucous night, at least for classical musicians. People drift in and out, smoking or meeting dates or relocating to the next bar along the stretch of them. This is open mic night, and there are many atrocities to be visited on these poor, unsuspecting patrons in the form of terrible spoken word poetry from a harpist and even a few basically-karaoke hits. The night is exactly as Viktor guessed it might be when he was telling his friends and family about it. That was only yesterday, but it was a foot and a half of hair and thousands of memories ago.

The next person Viktor recognizes will be treated to a warm, brilliant smile that didn't exist before this man was let out of the box he didn't know he'd been in.

[Find him at some little clothing/accessories boutique, at New Leaf Used Books, walking between either of these locations or at a little jam sesh in the evening at the piano bar.]

Comments

[feelheld]

With classes over for the summer, Dani is spending more time than usual working at New Leaf. Technically speaking, she's studying while she's there, too, getting ready to start having training sessions in the near future, but she likes to stay busy and also to get paid, and New Leaf is a pretty perfect place her. It's quiet enough that she can get other work done too and not get overwhelmed, and busy enough to keep her actively doing something.

Today, she's shelving some new acquisitions when she hears the front door open, the little bell hanging from it jingling and a brief burst of heat flooding into the front of the shop. "I'll be right with you!" she calls instinctively, brushing a strand of hair away from her forehead with the back of her wrist. When she turns to glance at the person who's walked in, though, she's greeted by the sight of a friend. A smile spreads across her face, pleased and a little surprised. "Hey," she says, leaving the rest of the books to put away later and heading closer. "Trying a new look?"

[fifthbeatle]

"Hey," Viktor greets in return, smiling back at her, albeit a little subdued. He feels great, and has the affirmation of his family from his strange dream-that-doesn't-make-sense-as-a-dream. Bringing his authentic self out into the world feels right. Yet, the faint anxiety persists. Viktor tries to tell himself that's just who he is, but he can't help that his heart is beating faster, vaguely hot-cold under his skin in a rush of adrenaline.

"Something like that," Viktor responds to the question. He holds out the coffee. The cup says Viktor, but that's not the same as telling the truth. "I got you the usual."

And that's as good a transition as any.

"Actually, my name is Viktor." Saying it feels even better than seeing it on that familiar little cup. He likes Dani, and what's more, he's felt that little rush from just her smile before. It would hurt like hell if she couldn't accept him, but he can walk away if she does. "It's who I've always been."

[feelheld]

Dani takes a moment to let that sink in. It's a significant piece of information, after all, and unexpected, nothing she would want to take too lightly. The meaning, though, is clear enough. This is the same person she knew, the same person who was always there, just comfortable and confident enough to take this step. To her, it might seem sudden, but it's not her place to judge one way or the other. She's known people who've transitioned before, and she knows that all she can really do — all she wants to do — is support her friend.

"Viktor," she echoes as she reaches out to take the coffee cup, her smile softer, but suffused with warmth. "I like it." She pauses a beat, then adds, "I'm happy for you," because she is. Maybe in a perfect world, it wouldn't have to be a huge deal, but in the one she's from, it very much is. She doesn't want to make more of it than he's comfortable with, but she wants him to know, too, that she offers nothing but acceptance.

[fifthbeatle]

Without knowing exactly what she's gone though, Viktor knows there is unimaginable pain in her. She's alluded to it, and Viktor wonders if he could sense it. Not in the way that Harlan taught him, but in a reflection of his own pain. It has been Viktor's experience that sensitivity and sweetness are things not all people value. In Hargreeves' case, he did his best to stamp them out of his children, but he couldn't do it. Even the one everyone thinks is unbreakable has his soft spots. The strongest of them all is also the most gentle.

Dani is sweet, gentle. Sensitive. If made it, she has the soul of a warrior or a madman, or, like Viktor, both. Whatever she is, she is smiling at Viktor like he's given her a precious gift: not the coffee but a piece of himself. And she likes it. Viktor is beaming before he has any idea how to stop it.

"Thank you," he says quietly, trying and failing to contain his grin. Instead, he takes a sip of his own coffee, and even that can't quite dull his shine. Part of him wants to let loose the flood gates and talk for hours and say all of the things he's never said. More of him wants to live his life, present and accounted for, loved by his friends and in love with his own body.

"How's work?" Viktor asks, leaning against the counter. The sheet music can wait.

[feelheld]

"Of course," Dani says, smile still small but meaningful. There are, unfortunately, plenty of people for whom she knows that wouldn't be true — maybe even here, though at least Darrow seems more consistently progressive than what she left behind — but as far as she's concerned, there's nothing to thank her for. If anything, she's grateful for the trust this must have taken, and to be able to stand here looking at Viktor, her friend, knowing this is an honest representation of him.

She's curious, of course, about how long he's been ruminating on this, about why now, but it's none of her business — or, rather, it's up to him to decide how much he wants to share, and not on her to pry. Her reaction would and will be the same either way, especially because it's clear how happy he is, looking self-assured in a way she isn't sure she's ever actually seen him before.

"Work's alright. Quiet, which is good," she answers, taking a sip of her own drink. "How are things with you? I mean... clearly some big developments, right?"

[fifthbeatle]

Quiet it is, Viktor notes as he takes a look around. He prefers it, too and not just because it means they can speak more freely. Viktor values silence, now that he can choose it. Yet, quiet isn't what it used to be, now that Viktor's power is allowed to exist -- more so now, if what Viktor and Luther dreamed(??) actually happened. If they saw another timeline, Viktor has access to a new soundscape. And some hard pills to swallow, so to speak.

Viktor ducks his head and laughs, a quiet, warm breath where a self-effacing huff may once have been. By way of answering Dani's question, he says, "I used to hate the quiet. Growing up in my weird family -- I told you there are seven of us -- it was loud, one way or another, when we were all together. But, I didn't get to be with the others outside of lessons. I was alone a lot. Even more after the, like, one person that gave a shit about me wasn't around anymore." A gross oversimplification is happening here, but there's no neat way to say what he's feeling, and not enough time left on Dani's shift to fill in all the gaps.

"I used to think that playing music was going to save me or keep me from being ordinary, maybe make Dad finally value me. And it wasn't quiet all the time. I was allowed to be a part of the noise."

Viktor's relationship with sound is intimate, formerly fraught and presently resolved. He's smiling when he settles his eyes on Dani. "I found out later my dad was afraid of me. He put me in a box. It seemed like no matter what I did, the box got smaller and smaller." He takes a peaceful breath.

"It's good to be out."

[feelheld]

Despite the friendship the two of them have struck up, Dani doesn't think they've talked all that much about their families. She's heard some about Viktor's siblings — the ones who are here, the ones who aren't — but it's one thing they haven't gone into much depth about. She tends to steer clear of it when she can, after all. Only one person in this whole city knows what happened back home. It isn't that she intends to keep it a secret, it's just that she can't talk about it, not without falling apart. That wound is too fresh, too raw.

Listening, though, she can do, expression thoughtfully curious. The experience isn't one like hers, but something about it strikes a chord all the same. And at the last — she isn't entirely sure if it's an intentional double meaning, but it makes her smile anyway, glad that he gets to have that freedom now.

"It seems like it," she says, warm and sincere. "Really, you seem... happy. At ease." It's not the sort of thing she would ever have speculated about or guessed earlier. Knowing what she knows now, though, it's easy to think back and be pretty sure she can sense a difference — that he wasn't so comfortable in his skin before, maybe still in that box even here.

"I... It wasn't like that, for me, but I think I know what you mean anyway," she adds. "About a box. I think I... kind of put myself in one without realizing it."

[fifthbeatle]

"I'm not sure how I feel," Viktor admits. The haircut is new, the scars inexplicable, the peace welcome. He could do without the new memories, including a handful of things he wants to un-know. It both feels and doesn't feel like those things happened to him. Can he separate the bliss of what's come with it from the work he still has to do on himself? Not advised, Viktor figures. Dani smiles at him.

He's going to anyway. For now. Dani smiles at him ans he smiles back. Like his whole fucked up timeline, Viktor both is and isn't being seen for the first time. Each new affirmation is a dopamine rush people would pay a lot of money for. Here, in the welcome quiet of this odd little bookstore, sharing a piece of himself he didn't mean to and finding it well-received, it's even more marigold than morphine. And he does feel good, but he already said that.

Dani returns his confidence with her own, just a little. "Yeah?" Normally, Viktor might just remain quiet and allow the person space to share. Dani hasn't talked about much up until now. Maybe, she needs some affirming, too. "Do you want to talk about it?"

[feelheld]

On that subject, Dani isn't sure how she feels. On the tip of her tongue is her usual denial — to say that it's fine, she doesn't need to talk about it, quickly bleeding into claiming that it wasn't that big a deal. She still believes that it shouldn't have been, but the more time she spends here, the more distance she has from the relationships in her life back home that were less than healthy, the more she feels like it was. At least, she knows what she would say to someone else in her position. It's always easier to have clarity with distance, though, always harder to apply such concepts to herself.

"God, I didn't mean to suddenly make this about me," she says instead, wrinkling her nose, a little flustered. If she were going to talk about it, Viktor is one of the very few people with whom she would probably be comfortable doing so. Right now, though, when he's come here sharing something so significant, she doesn't want to detract from that by unloading all her family baggage on him. "But if you maybe want to go sit and talk or something? I could definitely go for a break."

[fifthbeatle]

"Isn't that how a conversation works?" Viktor laughs, trying not to absolutely light up at the adorable way she scrunches her nose up. "I say something, and then you say something..."

And she wants to keep talking to him. That is also nice. Viktor still hasn't grown entirely accustomed to holding people's attention. Dani never brushes him off, but it's clear she keeps it close to the vest. Viktor has wanted to know more. Now, it seems like she wants to tell him. That's pretty fucking cool.

"Yeah, I would like that." Viktor's smile burns a quiet few lumens brighter. "Oh, uh, Maeve called me about some violin music that came in." He pauses before adding, "but -uh - I can get it later. When we come back."

[feelheld]

"I guess, yeah," Dani says, ducking her head for a moment as she laughs in turn, self-deprecating but genuinely amused. "See? This is exactly what I'm talking about." At least with Viktor, there's never been any sense of pressure in that regard, no need to make herself smaller, to take up less and less room. It's just an old habit, all but impossible to shake, one she picked up in childhood and leaned into more and more as she got older.

She still doesn't want to derail the conversation by talking about all of her bullshit when there's something so much more significant at hand. Even the way he smiles seems to drive that home. It's hardly the first time she's seen him smile, but it seems somehow that much more vivid now, as if lit up from within.

"And I'll make sure I grab that music for you when we get back," she agrees, saying so mostly to commit it to memory. "We don't get a lot of people coming in for sheet music, so I'm sure it'll be fine until then."

[fifthbeatle]

Viktor takes a breath -- and a chance.

"I like talking with you," he says with a soft smile. "I like hearing what you have to say." Maybe it won't bring Dani comfort. Maybe all it will do is nudge Viktor another inch out of his very strange comfort zone. He can remember what it was like to wish that someone would show a sign that they were listening, and what it was finally like to hear it.

Shame he heard it from a killer. Deeper shame Dani just did, too.

He heads to the door and opens it for her.