[for Five]

[fifthbeatle]

By the time Viktor gets home, he's more than an hour late. Best laid plans and all that. The college hasn't had a dedicated theory professor in a while, and Viktor hasn't been a professor quite like this. It's part-time, but stacking it all end-to-end, Viktor's working more than full-time.

He makes time for his family and friends, but he's become less precise about his timing -- a tragic turn for a musician. His 3pm's are more like 4pm's and the signature is ever-changing. A couple days ago, he fully left his violin home and had to go home to get it. And for all that Darrow is small, conductors are still impatient, and on time is late.

Tonight, he's just late. After missing his window to leave by almost 2 hours, Viktor is tired and out of sync. He also thinks it was his turn to take care of dinner tonight. Shit.

It's nearly 7pm when Viktor rolls in, takeout bags in hand. Some extra, since he doesn't know who is home. Knowing Five, he may have eaten already. That's okay: there's never too much food for Luther. The bags are set gently on the table.

The house is largely dark, save for the library light. Viktor drops his keys where he always does and tucks away his shoes.

"Hey," Viktor says gently as he bypasses Five to set his violin and beside its corresponding stand. "Sorry I'm late."

Comments

[number_five]

It's not that Five has been waiting for Viktor to come home. Then again, it's not that he hasn't been waiting either. He noticed when the dinner hour came and went and his partner didn't come through the door.

He gets it. Five has been stretched thin most of his adult life. But he wonders if it's too much. Still, he doesn't look up from his book when Viktor walks in, insistent on finishing the book he's been reading for the past few hours.

"Someone's out past curfew," Five comments.

[fifthbeatle]

Viktor huffs an ironic laugh. "First time for everything."

Free of his belongings, Viktor sits on the couch and slides himself into Five's space, swooping up an arm to duck under it. He leans back to kiss Five in greeting, landing somewhere between his cheek and his jaw if he weren't to move into it. Viktor settles in against him and peers at the top of the page. "What are you reading?"

[number_five]

"Not important," Five says, and closes the book around his finger. He knows Viktor would listen to him explain the complex physics concepts between the pages.

It's difficult to mask the way one corner of his mouth turns up into a small grin. He's pleased Viktor's finally home, but there's a tinge of concern under the surface. It's an isolated incident, in a vacuum, nothing to even make notice of. But Five's always been pretty perceptive.

"Busy day?" he asks.

[fifthbeatle]

"So busy," Viktor confirms. "And long. So glad to be home." He lifts the corner of Five's book to peek at the title. Curiosity sated, he lays his head back to meet Five's gaze. He smiles. The knots in his shoulders are unwinding, and with that another inkling of inner-wisdom that maybe he wants to be home more, and not just because he gets to catch/cozy up with Five.

There's something in Five's expression. After 3 years of trust and practice, Viktor's blood doesn't go cold when he can't place a look, anymore. He's curious, close and comfortable. If Five has something to say, he'll say it.

"How was yours?"

[number_five]

"Likely a lot less busy," Five says, but it's not as if he's spent his day in the library at home. There aren't a wealth of employment opportunities for someone with his skillset in Darrow-- at least not ones that are willing to hire an apparent 18-year-old. Still, he's been able to fill his hours tutoring students at Barton. But with only one session today, he's been pretty free.

This is retirement, he supposes.

"I think Luther already ate," he goes on to say, "Not that any of that will go to waste."

He hasn't seen Klaus in a while, though.

[fifthbeatle]

"Hell no, I'm starving." Viktor's in no rush to move, though. Sitting down in the library, especially with Five, has a way of making him wish he was doing less out there and more in here.

But Five's a grumpy old man, and Viktor does value his space. They went hard when they all got here. Nearly three years on for Viktor, there are times he needs space, but they're fewer and more far between than most.

Huh. Is that why he's been keeping so busy?

"Do you think I'm doing too much?"

[number_five]

“The thought had crossed my mind,” Five says, though he knows he’s looking at all of this with a wildly different perspective. For him, now, Darrow is his retirement. Sure, he only worked for the Commission a handful of years, but living decades in an apocalypse should definitely qualify him for pension.

“But… it’s your life, Viktor. And if this is the way you want to live it, who am I to cast judgement? Strangely enough, I’d say this is probably about as close to normal as any of us thought we’d ever get.”

[fifthbeatle]

Rarely is it lost on Viktor how lucky he is to have a network of people who love him, who tell him the truth no matter what. That's not how they were raised, but they've figured it out, mostly, with varying degrees of success.

The last part is definitely true. Viktor chuckles. A thoughtful pause follows.

"I used to think keeping busy kept me happy -- whatever that meant." The usual grain of salt is applied, their upbringing being what it was. "I think it just kept me distracted." Which was what Hargreeves wanted, but again: grain of salt.

"Now, it's like I don't know how to do anything else."

[number_five]

“Distracted from what?” Five asks, though he has a decent idea of the answer. Five’s life after the Umbrella Academy was a special kind of hell, but that doesn’t mean he’ll diminish what Viktor went through while he was gone.

And he certainly knows what it feels like to think there’s only one thing you know how to do, but he’s sure they’ll get back to that.

[fifthbeatle]

"Misery," Viktor concludes after a few moments' thought. "I didn't know what it was, but I felt wrong." Couching all of the lies he told in barbs about Viktor being ordinary was a brilliant move on Hargreeves' part. It was the perfect party line, easy to toe -- and just the tip of the identity iceberg, it turns out.

Viktor has to laugh a little. "The old asshole didn't even know what he was suppressing." Not that he cared.

Anyway, Viktor has a life worth living, now. Five, too. And it's one Viktor doesn't want to be distracted from.

[number_five]

Five ponders Viktor’s answer for a long moment, then idly reaches up to run his fingers through the other man’s hair.

“So do less,” Five suggests, knowing it’s likely not as easy as that. If it were easy, Viktor would have done it already. “Or take a break and see how it feels. It’s worth trying.”

[fifthbeatle]

"Genius," Viktor appraises, grinning. Five considers Viktor's plight with all of the attention and seriousness as any daring equation or hypothesis. He's a good partner. What's more, he seems to like it. "Orchestra will be the first to go."

Viktor displaces his head against Five's shoulder to lean up and kiss him in gently. "Thanks, Five." He laces his fingers between Five's. He wants to settle in, but there's the matter of dinner, which Viktor himself delayed. "You hungry?"

[number_five]

He's not sure if Viktor is actually going to take his advice or is only agreeing in the moment, but Five lets it go. Viktor's a smart man. He's an adult. He'll figure it out eventually.

"I could eat," Five says, but he purposely doesn't admit that he purposely held off on dinner, waiting for Viktor to make it home. "What'd you pick up?"

[fifthbeatle]

"New Mediterranean place," Viktor says, seeming surprised by the turn himself. "I'm burned out on that Chinese place we get."

They seem so ordinary these days. It's nice, mostly. There's an outstanding thing, a question of behavior Viktor hasn't been able to summon the nerve to ask. He loves Five. Things are good. Like, really fucking good. Talking about their powers has a way of messing things up.

He does want to, he realizes. Talk about it. It doesn't seem like the right time. Nor can he think of what a right time might be when the whole question is about how long it's been since Viktor saw Five use his powers. Viktor shelves it. He smiles.

"So let's eat."

[number_five]

"A bit of a left turn, but I'm all for it," Five says, starting to sit up, even though he'd be content to just stay on the couch with Viktor for a while.

There's a moment where he thinks he catches something on Viktor's face, like he wants to say something but doesn't.

"...unless there was something else?"

[fifthbeatle]

Viktor gives a more transparent smile, since the right time has been upgraded to right now, Viktor goes with it. He has to believe the new shit they're building is stronger than Viktor's oldest fears.

He takes a moment to gather his thoughts. The I love you but and I don't want you to be upsets dry up in his mouth. This is Five. It's safe (and maybe best) to be direct.

"I don't think I've seen you use your powers in over a year."

[number_five]

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Five says, and completes the motion to stand up and start to head toward the kitchen. He knows it's a lie, and one that Viktor isn't likely to let go. But he's been avoiding this very conversation. Every time he's gotten frustrated with Luther or Klaus and stormed out instead of teleporting away, he's felt Viktor's eyes on him.

[fifthbeatle]

The sudden turn surprises Viktor. "Five." He touches his arm, a grounding bid for his continued attention. It's been a while since he had to fight for it. Viktor won't restrain him. That's not what people who care do; they give you another chance to tell the truth.

[number_five]

Five pauses when Viktor touches his arm. He frowns, feeling guilty.

"We should eat before Luther gets home," Five says, deciding not to answer the question that Viktor didn't ask. At least, not yet.

[fifthbeatle]

"There's plenty of food," Viktor reminds him, placid and patient. "I don't think this is about food. Or Luther."

When it seems like Five will continue to go the extra hard way, he simplifies to the most relevant data.

"I don't know; but I would like to."

[number_five]

“I’m not allowed to be hungry?” Five asks, and though it’s the truth, he’s fully aware that’s not the issue here. He’s avoiding this, like he has been since he made his way back to the present. It’s partially out of a sense of shame, partially something else. He can’t put his finger on it, and he’s not sure he wants to yet.

Five is a quiet for a moment, pausing in his mission to get to the dinner Viktor’s brought home.

“Does it bother you that I haven’t used my powers?” He asks.

[fifthbeatle]

Though assuredly more boring than other available options, Viktor doesn't take the snarky bait. He's done too much work to find and know himself to think this is personal. The inconsistency of Five's powers have contributed to many a crisis, but that's true of them all. Hargreeves set them up to fail.

"No, not at all," Viktor says simply. "Why would it?"

[number_five]

Five frowns, a moment of brief vulnerability about the subject passing quickly in favor of deflection.

"I don't know, you're the one bringing attention to it," Five says. He won't deny that he's been avoiding using his powers since he got back. Viktor deserves more credit than that.

[fifthbeatle]

"Not because I'm upset," Viktor repeats calmly. "I brought it up to talk about it. That's easier for me to do before I'm upset." It seems there is someone who has already passed this benchmark, and it isn't Viktor. He knows they each have their own reasons to be afraid. But they don't have to do that shit alone anymore.

"Five." A quiet request, a call from reality from the planet where Viktor seems to be on the ground while Five flees through space. "Would you please talk to me?"